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Joke of the Day

"Why did the man snort Dr. Pepper? He thought it was Coke!"

"My roommate says I have schizophrenia Jokes on him! I don't have a roommate"

"Words: For when an emoticon just isn't enough."

"AT THE DOOR Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first? A: The dog -- at least he'll quiet down after you let him in."

"Every vote counts! Unless you forget to post your I voted sticker on Facebook, those ballots get thrown into an incinerator."

"What do you calla person that inherits a lot of money? A millionheir."

"I had a near death experience and I saw heaven. There were people screaming and there was fire everywhere."

"What's the difference between a boy scout and a jew? The boy scout comes home from camp."

"Did you hear the one about Bernie Sanders? Probably not, the /r/politics mods deleted it before anyone saw."

"Why do guitar amps hum? Because they don't know the words."