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Joke of the Day

"Trying to nurture my inner bully to stay motivated. So far, all I've succeeded in doing is stealing my own lunch money."

"Why is blackmail called blackmail? Because it isn't fair."

"Next time you see someone crying Ask them if it's because of their haircut"

"What group would an obese racist join? The cake-cake-cake."

"From the looks of your eyebrows, your shock collar must have malfunctioned."

"""I'm really good in bed"" -Ice cream"

"Two roads diverged in the woods. I took the road less traveled and now I'm a werewolf. Thanks, poetry."

"What is the difference between my ex-girlfriend and a beer? One is pale, bitter and starts off with lots of head and the other one is a beer."

"Did you hear about the cannibal who cloned himself to see what he would taste like? It made him shit himself."

"*walks into Walmart wearing pants* Walmart employee: Shit, corporate's here"