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Joke of the Day

"22 year old me after a night of drinking: ""I hope I didn't do anything stupid."" 29 year old me: ""I hope I didn't agree to go on a hike."""

"Why do the undead read cringe stories? Because they're already... DEAD INSIDE."

"I had an eight course Irish dinner tonight. A six pack of beer, a potato, and a glass of whiskey to finish it off."

"I'd much rather have a sex tape released to the public than a video of me trying to run in flip flops."

"Why are there different species of hyena? Isn't every hyena we've discovered a spotted hyena?"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? I have a flesh-eating disease, and it's slowly killing me."

"I'm claustrophobic... I'm afraid of Santa."

"A sadist walks up to a masochist... The masochist says ""hurt me"". The sadist says ""no""."

"For my next magic trick i'll need a condom and a volunteer."

"Whats the difference between a dead baby and an apple? You dont cum on the apple before you eat it...."