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Joke of the Day

"An ad at the zoo: Don't scare the ostriches! The floors are concrete!'"

"I had to buy a voodoo doll of myself and rub its back."

"Why is Friday the best day of the week? Its the 5/7 day of the week"

"A woman walks into a hardware store and says, ""I want to buy a hinge."" The clerk says, ""Do you wanna screw for that hinge?"" The woman replies, ""No thanks, but I'll blow you for a toaster."""

"Before I workout, I like to warm up with 10 sets of selfie's."

"Wow, somebody finally wrote a book about clock fetishes! It's about fucking time."

"I went to the store today and bought a movie called ""Tiger Woods' 18 Greatest Holes"" When I got home, I was disappointed, it was about golf"

"Is the reason why all of the Pokemon professors are named after trees because They embark you on your journey?"

"Everyone was calling me a Pedo I'm 47 and she's 20, but the people in the restaurant really ruined our tenth anniversary"

"Hey, yeah I'll be ready in a minute. I'm just going to shower and jerkoff. just kidding, I'm not going to shower"