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Joke of the Day

"Did you read the article about corduroy pillowcases? ... They're making headlines."

"What's ISIS favourite meal? Turkey! Its the bomb!"

"A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says:, Sorry, but we don't serve minors."

"why are all jewish men circumcised? because jewish women won't touch anything unless it's at least 10% off."

"I ran without my headphones today & was reminded that I feel better about my fitness when my soundtrack isn't my panicked gasping breathing."

"My girlfriend just caught me blow drying my penis... ...and asked what I was doing. Apparently ""heating your dinner"" was not the correct answer."

"I hate when people ask what I see myself doing in 5 years How would I know, I don't have 2020 vision"

"Why did the introduction and the conclusion break up? They were just never on the same page..."

"How do you make a cat bark? Drench it with gasoline, drop a lighted match on it... Woof!"

"Why do people like amputee porn? It fucking stumps me."