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Joke of the Day

"That's the last time Shang Tsung accompanies my family to the fish restaurant.... He spent all night trying to steal my brother's sole!"

"My girlfriend buys candles the same way I buy weed. She looks at the color, opens it and smells it, buys it, then lights it on fire to relax"

"TIL Supreme Court judge kidnapped by cannibals in the Caribbean! Justice was served."

"Why did Jon Snow stand in line for 6 hours at the Apple store? For the watch"

"Did you hear about the murder of the door maker? The police said it was an open and shut case."

"What is the sheeps market called? The Baa-zar."

"The things that you love are what makes you who you are. I guess that makes me large breasts...."

"What's the difference between your mother and a Mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck... I forget the rest but your mother's a whore"

"A mushroom walks into a bar and sits down... The bartender turns to him and says, ""Get outta here. We don't serve your kind."" Mushroom says, ""Why not? I'm a fungi."""

"Why did the momma pepper tuck in her baby? Because he was a little chili (Actually came up with this while making chili)"