207631

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between your mother and a Mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck... I forget the rest but your mother's a whore"

Next Joke
 
"What do we want? Race car noises. When do we want them? Neoooooooooooooooooooooow"
"I was not a particularly small child. I was the one who always got picked to play Bethlehem in the school nativity."
"I never warn my wife before I pull the anal beads out.. I like starting the mower on the first tug."
"[meeting] DIRECTOR: I want amazing CGI PRODUCER: Yes! D: A huge cast P: Agreed! D: Realistic family photos P: We don't have the budget"
"How do you get honey from a graveyard? From a zombee! I'll see myself out"
"My wife was gang raped by a troupe of mimes.... They performed unspeakable acts on her."
"What did the Nuclear Engineer get for his birthday? Yellow Cake http://imgur.com/gallery/FGFV1Em/new"
"Why is horse racing so romantic? Because the horse hugs the rails the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye!"
"I wish I had a more acidic wit Unfortunately mine's very basic."