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Joke of the Day

"TIL Supreme Court judge kidnapped by cannibals in the Caribbean! Justice was served."

"Me and my GF split...she sais "" You never listen...."" Or something like that......."

"*pounds fist twice on chest* *kisses two fingers* *throws peace sign & nods head at DJ* I don't know what I just did, but we should leave."

"My kids challenged me to a cartwheel contest. Long story short, now my chiropractor has a new boat."

"Two mental health counselors happen to meet each other at the mall... *""You seem fine!""*, says one to the other, *""How am I?""*"

"Did you know that a chicken coop can't have more than 3 doors? If it has 4 doors, it's a sedan."

"Arrhythmia, blocked arteries, leaky valves, ""Hey, I found you on Twitter"" and other things that will suddenly stop your heart."

"I know I'm late to the party but why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9."

"I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector today The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy."

"President Trump received congratulations from the Pope himself... Because thanks to him half the world started praying."