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Joke of the Day

"Hillary Clinton is going to be the first f president... ... Oops, I meant to say female but someone deleted the emale"

"Do you want to hear the story on Sigmund Freud? NSFW It takes a while but it gets to the mother fucking point."

"I make more Freudian slips before 9am than most people do all gay."

"how i look like Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree. Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella. Walnut: I look exactly like a brain. Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?"

"I just ended a long-term relationship today I'm not too bothered, it wasn't mine"

"What do feminist hate more than men? Sex Offenders"

"I'm working out again in hopes that I can wear my superhero shirt in public without someone saying, ""Batman really let himself go""."

"Note: When you cut jeans into shorts, remember to wear the top half, not the bottom half. lol. these denim calf warmers tickle my legs."

"I'm more confused than a homeless person on house arrest."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Siamese Twins Barbie ...complete with surgical instruments"