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Joke of the Day

"Playboy's decision to keep models clothed comes weeks after McDonald's decision to serve breakfast all day."

"Wiping your ass is a lot like approaching a traffic light... Red means stop."

"How do you keep a retard in suspense? ..."

"This morning I saw a homeless guy talking to his shadow... Does that mean six more weeks of recession?"

"I'm 32. I don't have haters. I have too much debt and teeth that shifted from not wearing a retainer."

"What genre can't Ed Sheeran sing ? Soul"

"I've found a diner. Or maybe it's a house. Either way this little old lady is cooking me breakfast."

"What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? ""If we don't get some support, people will think we're nuts!"""

"I'm sorry, you can't check your disobedient child on this flight. Guess you'll have to carry on your wayward son"

"I don't trust people who keep their jackets on after they've arrived. That's what I do when I'm going to escape."