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Joke of the Day

"Me: [Sits down to eat breakfast] Girlfriend: Babe, you forgot the French Toast Me: Oh sorry [raises glass] VIVE LA FRANCE!"

"What do you call an orange thats been in the sun too long? tangerine"

"What food is good for the brain? Noodle soup."

"Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for men who are married. Every month the centerfold is the exact same woman."

"What did the white supremacist say to his friend after watching a plot twist? I did Nazi that coming."

"I'm going to throw an awesome surprise party for my daughter when she gets home and realizes I know that she snuck out! SURPRISE!"

"The Names of Politicians Bush... Dick... Boehner... Weiner... And they say politicians sometimes win via *name recognition*."

"Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because, If they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels."

"Why did the Fall break off from all the other seasons? Because it wanted autumnomy"

"What's an alcoholic's favourite type of Maths? Swigonometry."