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Joke of the Day

"The Names of Politicians Bush... Dick... Boehner... Weiner... And they say politicians sometimes win via *name recognition*."

"Adult: Someone who has stopped growing at both ends and now grows in the middle."

"Why did cavemen drag their women around by the hair? Because if they dragged them by the ankles, they'd fill up with muck."

"When I bring a girl back to my bedroom, I tell her ""this is where the magic happens"", then I pull a rabbit out of a hat."

"I dont't want to die a virgin because that means I'll have to have sex with terrorists."

"Fun fact: if you took all the arteries and veins in a person's body and laid them end to end... Then that person would die."

"Nearly Christmas... PEOPLE say that every dog has its day. How right they are. We got a dog for Christmas, got bored with it and had it put down on Boxing Day."

"I'm not sure where you ladies go to learn how to argue, but that place is good"

"Q: What did the snowman say to the other snowman? A: ""Do you smell carrot?"""

"Explaining a fountain to a 3rd world country must be weird. 'Yeah we just shoot clean water into the air and throw our extra money into it'."