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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to throw an awesome surprise party for my daughter when she gets home and realizes I know that she snuck out! SURPRISE!"

"What's the incest equivalent of a gang bang? A fam bam."

"How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?......No one knows they never keep the house!"

"You pick up the phone: ""Hello, this is the IRS.."""

"What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? Walking. JK ROLLING"

"Can't wait for the release of Jurassic Park 4D where they just let dinosaurs loose in the theater and you have to try to survive for 2 hours"

"Just burned 2000 calories That's the last time I'll leave brownies in the oven while I nap"

"Apparently they've come out with low-fat communion wafers Yeah. They called it *I Can't Believe It's Not Jesus*."

"Dogs: OMG YOU'RE HOME! I LOVE YOU!!! Cats: greetings human. as you may have noticed, my food bowl is empty...fill it..I'll be on the couch."

"So I bought some shoes off my drug dealer. And I'm not sure what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."