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Joke of the Day

"*Knock Knock* Me: Who is it? Police: Police. Me:What do u want? Police: To talk. Me: How many r u? Police: 2 Me: Talk to each other."

"I was 14, my dad caught me drinking. 'Dad, that's the first time' 'That's a lie, no one ever gets caught the first time.' So I robbed a bank"

"How much sawdust does a chicken have to eat to lay a two by four? Give up? So did the chicken."

"Someone once told me my best features were my smile and personality If I don't have a mouth I'm fucked"

"Trying to make a list of things that are worse than Mondays and all I've got so far is Hitler and Christian Rock."

"I was born on 09.11.2001 and I suffer of autism Cause: The stork crashed and I'v hit my head"

"I just don't understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance."

"Hooking a clock on your belt It would just be a waist of time."

"Sometimes in the shower I pretend like I'm a bumblebee and just crash into the curtain a few times and die in the water."

"Balloons are stupid. ""Happy birthday! Here's a buncha sacks of breath."""