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Joke of the Day

"I just don't understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance."

"What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish ? Tweetie Pie !"

"Who proofread Hitler's speeches? A grammar nazi"

"What do you call a musician's best friend? A drummer..."

"Why are people afraid of Donald Trump? Because he's run more buildings into the ground than Al-Qaeda."

"Cop: ""Did you kill this man?"" Me: ""No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."""

"I'm in a serious relationship with my WIFI... You might say we have a connection."

"my thigh gap is just a painted tunnel by Wile E. Coyote"

"The definition of passive aggressive is a girl tagging you in a FB photo where she looks good & you look like a bucket of shit."

"The Energizer Bunny was arrested today... He was charged with battery."