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Joke of the Day

"My wife says I was wasted last night and honestly I don't think she's buying my story about having to be naked to guard the neighbors porch."

"So i went to my first fight club gathering I arrived a little late, so i did not catch the first part, but i had a great time. I recommend it to everybody."

"A giraffe walks into a bar, orders 6 martinis ...and shame on you for wanting a punchline. This giraffe needs help."

"Jared likes his subs like he likes his kids. 6 and 12."

"Knock knock ""who's there?"" interrupting cow with alzheimer's disease ""interrupting cow with alzheimer's disease who?"" knock knock ""who's there?"" moooooooooo ::silence::"

"Whatever I was born in like 10 mangers"

"After a long time of procrastination I read that book about the 4th dimension. It's about time..."

"If honey is supposed to be so great for your voice, why does it sound like Winnie the Pooh has been shotgunning bleach?"

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Tied up in a sack and thrown over the back of a Columbian mule."

"They say Curiosity killed the cat Why there was a cat on Mars we'll never know."