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Joke of the Day
"I ate 4 bowls of delicious alphabet soup. After that I had a massive vowel movement."
Next Joke
"interviewer: what can u bring to the firm me: [places a tiny cactus on desk & smiles] interviewer: I meant like clients me: [removes cactus]"
"Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time-consuming."
"This is circular logic because this is circular logic."
"That awkward moment when a person says they need their beauty sleep when what they really need is plastic surgery."
"Leonardo DiCaprio set to play a Long John Silver in his next role. Having previous experience with spending most of his years searching for gold."
"Dear fork, I just wanted to inform you that you have a son. His name is Spork. Love always, Spoon PS: he has your hair."
"What's Forrest Gump's Password? 1FORREST1"
"I'm so stoned........ It took me three tries to turn out the bathroom light. Turns out the toilet flush handle does not control the lights."
"What's the difference between testicles and a penis? Wow. I can't believe you don't know this. There is a Vas Deferens between the two."