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Joke of the Day

"That awkward moment when a person says they need their beauty sleep when what they really need is plastic surgery."

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"Two snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... BA DUM PSSHHH"
"Which American president was not guilty? Lincoln, he was in a cent"
"If Ebenezer Scrooge were a sheep, what kind of hat would he wear? A Baa-Homburg!"
"What does a neckbeard say when make him laugh? You made m'laugh."
"Gonna open a karaoke place where each song is 90 seconds max. Most are 25 seconds. Just the chorus one time, then onto the next song."
"What would you call a very funny mountain? Hill Arious!"
"A pirate walks into a bar... ...With a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender says, ""Is that a steering wheel in your pants?"" The pirate says ""Arrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"""
"What did one tooth say to the other? Get your cap on the dentist is taking us out tonight."
"Why do aardvarks make undesirable neighbors? Because they always have their noses in other people's business!"
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