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Joke of the Day
"Is your wife buying too many shoes? Cut her feet off. There, done."
Next Joke
"I really hate pretzels Some would even say I'm Anti-Anne's"
"Sarah Palin being on a climate change panel with Bill Nye is like Sarah Palin being on a climate change panel with Bill Nye."
"How do you celebrate Christopher Columbus day? Barge into your neighbor's home and claim it as yours."
"I like to use big words that I don't understand- they make me seem more photosynthesis."
"Sorry I was late. I got stuck in internet traffic."
"Wanna hear my Jump Rope joke? Never mind, I'll just skip it."
"I like my women like I like my vegetables... 5 a day."
"Are these my brains? A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. 'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?' 'Not yet!' she replied!"
"ME: My new contacts are here! WIFE: Don't put them all on at once like you did last ME: [eyes wide] I CAN SEE YOUR BONES"