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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my vegetables... 5 a day."

"What do you call an Irishman who sits on the porch all year round? Patty O'Furnature"

"The 30-second elevator ride without cell service or Wi-Fi is by far the most terrifying part of my day."

"I have a joke about minidisc... ...but it's a little CD."

"Want to know if you're in the wrong relationship? If you were reading this hoping I really had the answer, it's over. You're welcome."

"What Do You Call a Terrible German Hot-dog Stand Owner? The Wurst Guy."

"Why did Hu wind-up worse off than Yu? Because Hu died and made Yu king. Hu died and made Yu king? Isn't that what I just said?"

"How can you tell who is the head nurse of a facility? She's the one with dirty knees."

"What are the two fastest things in the world? Second fastest: your butthole snapping shut. Fastest: That little drop of water..."

"Newsflash: Two criminals have escaped from prison today. One is orange and 9ft tall and the other green and yellow and 2ft Gin tall. The police are searching high and low for them."