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Joke of the Day

"*boss trying to relate to younger employees* ""Excited for the weekend? I know I'll be *looks down at Wikipedia print-out* Yoloing for sure!"""

"How do black people make fruit salad? They mix watermelon and grape soda. (On a side note, I'm not racist. I just think black people and racist jokes are funny.)"

"Sigmond called. He must be a cross dresser, because he wants his slip back."

"The best way to infuriate a mom is to open a second box of something when there's still a box of the same thing already open."

"I should become a bomb specialist... It's a booming industry. Heh."

"A man in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds... Poor bastard.."

"KATY PERRY: Can I use a real tiger? NFL: No way, that would be dumb. KATY PERRY: Oh I'll show you dumb."

"[on way to play charades with gf's family] I don't wanna go why I don't wanna look silly you won't *first thing I have to act out is pasta*"

"How is digging fence post holes like being the mayor of Toronto? It goes pretty smoothly until you start hitting the rock."

"Traveling through Italy I spent hundreds of Euros on pasta. (Pun) It was worth every Penne."