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Joke of the Day

"My packing technique for jams is amazingly effective; cram equipment in case, sit on case, break case, swear at case, buy new case, repeat."

"Me: will I find true love? Ouji Board: A R E Y O U H U N G R Y Me: dammit grandma not now"

"What do you call the amount of time it takes to win an argument with a lawyer? An attornity."

"Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank Give a man a bank and he can rob the world."

"What do Nazi pilots eat for breakfast? Luftwaffles"

"My British friend Julian Wang just bought his first automobile We call it the Wang car. //needs work"

"Drug dealing is a great occupation because if it doesn't work out, you can always tutor children in fractions."

"How do you unpoopify water? Boil the shit out of it."

"My dad likes to come to my office & tell the receptionist he's my parole officer in case you were wondering how I turned out like this."

"I finally found a girlfriend! She was lost untill she found me. I'm glad I could give her a ride to her boyfriend's house."