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Joke of the Day

"My packing technique for jams is amazingly effective; cram equipment in case, sit on case, break case, swear at case, buy new case, repeat."

"I decided to come to my friends as transparent they saw right through me."

"so what if I can't spell Armageddon.. .. it's not the end of the world."

"I've come to the conclusion that these Paul Walker jokes aren't funny... Cause I called his family and told them 5 of my BEST ones. They didn't laugh at ANY of them."

"Doctors have discovered a new strain of ebola in Israel They have appropriately named it Heebola."

"Scientists have found the number one cause of pedophilia. Sexy children."

"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Sylvester Stallone wanted to dress up as classical composers for Halloween? ""You be Beethoven, I'll be Bach."""

"What does a clock do when it's hungry? Goes back four seconds."

"I went to the club, now my friends call me Cheers... ...Because I star Ted Danson (say it out loud now)"

"What did the house say to the other house when it fell on it. Get off me Homes."