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Joke of the Day

"I went to the club, now my friends call me Cheers... ...Because I star Ted Danson (say it out loud now)"

"i imagine the people who slaved for years perfecting the google search algorithm would be so mad knowing i mainly use it now for spellcheck"

"What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being *special*"

"Fridges should have glass doors.That way i dont have to stand with the fridge door open trying to figure out my next move."

"Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't do well in a hot car trunk all day."

"""Knock, knock"""" 2: ""Who's there?"" 1: ""Europe."" 2: ""Europe who?"" 1: ""no ur a poo"""

"Her: Baby, do that thing that makes me hot Me: *kisses her neck* H: *slaps me* I MEANT turn the thermostat up dummy, it's freezing in here"

"When Arnold says the line ""I'll be back"" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help."

"What do you call an alien with three balls? E.T. the extra testicle."

"How many Man U. fans does it take to change a lightbulb? One to change the lightbulb and one to drive down to Kent to pick him/her up."