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Joke of the Day

"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Sylvester Stallone wanted to dress up as classical composers for Halloween? ""You be Beethoven, I'll be Bach."""

"The maple leafs are my favourite curling team Always sliding down the ice bumping into the walls and never hitting the bullseye."

"I wish my laundry was more like protein... so it would fold itself!"

"I'm not slurring, I'm speaking in cursive."

"I like Ouija boards It's the only game I can still play with grandma."

"Did a T Rex have two copies of each chromosome? I reckon it was a diploidocus"

"What did Tennessee? The same thing that Arkansas"

"An elderly woman at an ATM asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over. Yep, she needs a walker"

"I don't need to lie. But, sometimes, I like to give the truth an extreme makeover."

"What did the farmer say when he found dynamite in one of his cows? This is a bomb in a bull."