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Joke of the Day

"Summer is here I'm at home and thinking: Should I go outside and look at those I can't fuck, or should I stay here and fuck the one I can't even look at?"

"Helen Keller was blind and deaf. She would still lip sync better than Mariah Carey."

"Hi mom, we shot the new Hobbit movie today. I'm orc #56, the one accidentally wearing a watch. The director was really mad."

"A photon walked into a hotel. The clerk asked it it would like a hand with it's luggage... ""No thank-you"", said the photon, ""I'm travelling light""."

"I can build things out of wood. Canoe?"

"I'm having a hard time... contrtolling my erections."

"Top 10. jokes about mods and admins 1. [removed] 2. [removed] 3. [removed] 4. [removed] 5. [removed] 6. [removed] 7. [removed] 8. [removed] 9. [removed] 10. [deleted]"

"Your honor, may I approach the bench? ""You may."" *walks up to bench* *boops judge's nose*"

"What does a new Tesla car smells like? Elon Musk"

"*bumps into an acquaintance in a world where there's no such thing as weather* Uhhhhhhhhhhh"