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Joke of the Day

"What color is the most metal? Ma*djent*a"

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"My Christmas tree is on a timer It lights up everyday at 4:20"
"Where does a zookeeper hang his laundry? On a clothes lion."
"One potato. Two potato. Three potato. Vodka."
"I like my coffee how I like my women... imported"
"What do you get if you cross a phone with a birthday celebration? A party line!"
"Why did the moron throw the clock out the window? Because it reminded him of Richard Clock, the man accused of viciously knife-raping his wife."
"A man walked into a library and asked for a book on suicide. The librarian said, ""Jack off mate, you won't bring it back!""."
"When your wife says she needs a new broom it's best not to ask if she broke the last one in a crash landing."
"Thank you for calling ELVIS Direct Press 1 for the money 2 for the show"