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Joke of the Day

"A photon walked into a hotel. The clerk asked it it would like a hand with it's luggage... ""No thank-you"", said the photon, ""I'm travelling light""."

"I finally made something of myself It's a wad of hair and ear wax and snot sitting in the garbage can."

"Why did the termite eat a sofa and two chairs? It had a suite tooth."

"What's the difference between driving a car on an empty tank of gas and having diarrhea? One you're running on fumes, the other you're fuming with the runs."

"How can you tell a Minnesota hockey fan? Ask him what color the blue line is and wait. It may take him ten minutes to answer."

"What do you call Sherlock Holmes with no shit? No shit sherlock"

"What do you call a baby Matt Damon? A new-Bourne"

"Why were the pirates on the ship fighting? They needed better anchor management."

"Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days."

"My new american football video game has so many glitches. It's really maddening"