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Joke of the Day

"I have a mice problem so I lay out tiny red and blue bandanas in hopes they start a west coast/east coast thing and take care of each other."

"Why do we hit things when they don't work? Because it worked with slavery"

"I'm disappointed *The Social Network* movie about Facebook didn't have an epic Farmville scene."

"I went to a drag race yesterday It's amazing how fast men can run in heels."

"Relationships are like a seesaw. If one of you gets too bored or too fat, the fun's over."

"I once hung out with Dwyane Johnson and Danny Trejo... ...and I was literally stucked between the Rock and a hard face. ^^"

"What's the difference between your child and your husband? At least you can leave your child alone with the babysit"

"What do a call a fish with no eyes A blind fish"

"What do you call a german tampon? A twatstika....buh dum chh!"

"Girl, you put the sexy in dyslexia."