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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a Mexican in Canada? ACCOMPLISHED. They crossed two borders!"
Next Joke
"a neurology proffeser is doing a lesson about orgasims. .. He asks one of his femal students ""what do you think your asshole is doing when you orgasim"" she replies "" its out playing golf"""
"I just read an article in the newspaper about how 60% of adults still live with their parents. I was like ""OMG Mum did you read this???"""
"What do you call a Nazi who survived the war? A veterinarian"
"There's a bald spot in my yard so I'm gonna let the grass around it grow really long and then do a comb-over."
"Giving compliments... ...to women is like pot-hitting in a mine field."
"My wife tells me my conspiracy theory obsession is getting out of control.. I wonder how much the government paid her to say that."
"If Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, and Justin Bieber were in an elevator with me and I only had two bullets, I would... ..wonder why I didn't bring a fucking gun!"
"Just found all my fan letters to Wolverine my wife ""promised"" she mailed stuffed behind the couch. I'm livid."
"You may not be aware of it, but NASA conducted an experiment during the Apollo mission days. They launched a collection of cows into orbit on a prototype rocket. It was a herd shot round the world."