29716

Joke of the Day

"You want to know who never gets checked for their ID? HumIDity."

"Did you hear about the beaver who went to the bar but forgot his wallet because he'd just shape-shifted from another water mammal? He says to the bartender ""I must've left it in my otter pants."""

"How to trigger a Canadian My favorite color is gray."

"How can you tell if your goose is depressed? It's feeling down."

"Give me a massage ""Mm okay"" *rubs oil all over her* *things get hot* *things get too hot* *she bursts into flames* ""Dang I used petroleum"""

"How long have I been working for this company? Ever since they threatened to fire me."

"Wife: Hi, did you eat? Me: Did you eat? Wife: Are you copying me? Me: Are you copying me? Wife: I love you! Me: Yes, I already ate"

"what do a roadway, for coworkers in the same car, that goes underwater and discomfort in the wrist from excessive computer use have in common? carpool tunnel"

"I have a really good relatipnship with the elevator operator. We speak to eachother on so many different levels."

"What did the customer say to the barber after looking at a facial hair catalog? I moustache you a question about this style shown here, good sir."