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Joke of the Day

"A Christian, a Muslim and a Jew walk into a bar... What a fine example of an integrated community. ^(Credit: Bernard Righton/John Thomson)"

"Two atoms are in a bar, Two atoms are in a bar. One says, ""I think I've lost an electron."" The other asks, ""Are you sure?"" To which the first replies, ""I'm positive."""

"""Hey Siri, what's your favorite 'Friends' quote?"" ""I'm very bendy"""

"Why do sailors use liquid soap? It takes longer to pick up when they drop it."

"I thought I was getting a car for christmas... turns out all I got was a toy Yoda"

"They say it takes a whole village to raise a child That must be a really fat kid"

"For all you World of Tanks players: what does LTP stand for? LeichtTractor Premium"

"What do you get if you cross a telephone with a hunting dog? A golden receiver!"

"Why do Mexicans never cross the border in groups of three? Because the signs all say ""No TRESpassing"""

"OMG you guys. I just got asked out. By a real live guy. I don't know what to do!? Play dead? Duck and roll? I'm so confused!!"