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Joke of the Day
"Me: ""Siri, why am I single?"" Siri: *opens front face camera*"
Next Joke
"Why did the illiterate man with the 3 foot penis get dumped by his girlfriend? TLDR"
"What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper"
"[DUI checkpoint] Cop: I'm gonna need you to follow my finger Me: As long as it doesn't tweet inspirational stuff"
"If storks deliver white babies and blackbirds deliver black babies, what bird delivers no babies? Swallows."
"Decades of video games have left me unjustifiably overconfident in my ability to break open a wooden crate."
"What's a Mexican's favourite letter? C. LOL! I heard this at work today, top fucking bantz!"
"What do pessimists use... Q: What do pessimists use to wash their clothes? A: Deterrent."
"I was going to make a joke about sodium but then I thought Na."
"I drink black coffee Because I'm not racist."