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Joke of the Day

"""Let's do 5 sets of squats & then try lifting for an hour. It looks like you got out of shape after your dad died"" ~ Really personal trainer"

"What did the number zero say to the number eight? Nice Belt"

"i have to wake up at 3 am tomorrow to go to the airport i've honestly never felt more attacked and victimized than i do now"

"Do you know why I don't eat at Chili's or Applebee's? Because i'm old enough to microwave my own food..."

"Why was the rooster going to the urinals? Because that's where all the cocks hang out!"

"What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Crisp Cringle."

"Sort of embarrassing when the babysitter shows up, and I don't have kids, and then it's $300 an hour."

"Somewhere right now, a girl just uploaded a picture of a place she went to in the past with a caption that says ""take me back </3"""

"You had me at: I'm calling the police."

"Don't post negative things here Electrons"