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Joke of the Day

"Why was the rooster going to the urinals? Because that's where all the cocks hang out!"

"Hired a gardener today and gave him a list of things to do. When I got back home he'd only done tasks 1,3 & 5. Turns out he's an odd job man."

"An atheist, a cross-fitter and a vegan walk into a bar... We only know because they told everyone within a minute."

"Women my age expect a man to have his shit together by now. Time to start dating younger women."

"Instead of a blue or pink balloon for a gender reveal.. A piggy bank should be smashed revealing $1 for a boy or 78 cents for a girl."

"*dies & becomes a ghost* Wow! The philosophical & theological repercussions of this are staggering! I've got to tell-- *is eaten by Pac-Man*"

"I saw an ironing board with wrinkles in it I thought that was pretty ironic."

"Michael Phelps is such a good swimmer... He was conceived anally"

"What is something that looks like an obese vagina, loves guns, is widely hated by the Europeans and can't take a joke? An Americunt."

"Amazing how easily that guy scaled Trump Tower. Thank God u can't get suction cups in Mexico cause then wall idea would be really stupid."