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Joke of the Day
"Slot twist: That USB drive goes in the other way. Turn it over"
Next Joke
"What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same."
"Customer spelling her name: Me: Is that V as in Victor or Z as in Zebra? Her: Z as in Xylophone. And this, kids, is why education is key."
"How do you make a blind man mad? Awwwwwww. Look at them pretty flowers."
"If you ever want to catch a white person, just set a table outside a restaurant in the summertime."
"It's like these birds don't even know that it's the crack of fuck on a mother fucking Saturday morning."
"If I liked one of your pics from 12 weeks ago, doesn't mean I'm stalking you...It just means you haven't looked nice in awhile"
"What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer."
"Hey Terminator, who are you dressing up as for the musical fancy dress? I'll be Bach"
"[pulling the casket a few inches away from the wall during a funeral] sorry just need to plug in my phone for a minute"