171992

Joke of the Day

"Hey Terminator, who are you dressing up as for the musical fancy dress? I'll be Bach"

"Always trust the judgements of a man who honestly answers to the question 'What's up?'"

"If by 'paleontologist' you mean I can name all 5 shapes in the box of dinosaur chicken nuggets then, yes, I am a paleontologist."

"My friends and I were trying to decide which award winning drama TV show we should watch It came down to the wire."

"YOUR SO BALD THAT WHEN YOU WHERE A TURTLENECK YOU LOOK LIKE A ROLL ON DEODORANT."

"So when is too soon to ask your friend if you can borrow their baby to reenact The Lion King? One day old? Two?"

"Cheap date idea: cut open a pack of hotdogs & squeeze the juice over your lover's body then summon a peregrine falcon with your mind."

"Maybe I misheard him... But I think God just told me to start building a really big goat."

"I don't think Princess Elsa would be a very good girlfriend, She seems frigid."

"How do you get 100 babies into a bowl? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips"