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Joke of the Day

"Customer spelling her name: Me: Is that V as in Victor or Z as in Zebra? Her: Z as in Xylophone. And this, kids, is why education is key."

"Did you hear about the comedian who gave an old lady a defective piece of cooking equipment? He's known for his deadpan delivery."

"What do you call a pickle that draws? A dillustrator."

"If the cup is only half full, I suggest buying a smaller bra."

"I'd like to dedicate this joke to my father, who was a roofer... ...so...dad, if you're up there..."

"4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths."

"Mr Monster: Oi hurry up with my supper. Mrs Monster: Oh do be quiet I've only got three pairs of hands."

"You hate me? Well okay, grab a chair and wait for me to care."

"What did the traffic light say to the car? Don't look I'm changing!"

"A guy wore a Hanukkah shirt to a Christmas party... He was in the Menorah Tee."