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Joke of the Day

"How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? Eleven. One chief of police to oversee it, and 10 cops to beat the lightbulb until it wants to change."

"Funny Meat Jeffrey sat at the dinner table eating with his mother, when she turned to him and said, "" this meat tastes kinda funny."" He replied, "" Sorry mother, I ran into a clown today."""

"What do you call a muslim holocaust? Sand Sanitizer."

"I recently found out that I'm colorblind... It came out of the purple."

"What kind of bee's make milk? BOObees!"

"Sometimes I leave a trail of pizza crumbs around the house so I can find my way back to the TV"

"[describing criminal to sketch artist] No, he could speak more languages than that. He had racist shoulders. His front teeth were impatient."

"[robbing Walgreens] Would you like to sign up for a Walgreens card? Youll save 30% on your robbery ""sure"" [guy behind me with 1 item] wtf"

"I went to the gym and asked the guy there to teach me how to do the splits..... He said 'how flexible are you?' I said 'I can't do Thursdays.' Credit: Tommy Cooper"

"When a cop pulls you over, never start a sentence with, ""This may be the alcohol talking, but..."" Trust me on this one."