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Joke of the Day

"So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem... Comes out of nowhere"

"Whats the difference between the circus and a strip club? Circus is full of cunning stunts."

"Why can't you trick an aborted baby? (NSFL/NSFW) Because it wasn't born yesterday."

"My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo."

"I, too, am shocked Ted Cruz has had sex. I just assumed his kids were born when he ate after midnight and got wet like in the movie Gremlins"

"Tonight at the Who concert As the band started up ""You Better You Bet"", the guy next to me stood up to go get a drink. So I asked him - ""Not a fan of their new album?"""

"A priest, an Imam, and a Rabbi walk into a bar... The bartender looks up and says: ""What is this, some kinda joke?"""

"Don't forget to smile today, but not that creepy smile that makes us all wonder how many bodies are buried in your yard."

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? What's up my nigga?!"

"I ejaculated six feet earlier. Strange, usually I ejaculate semen."