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Joke of the Day

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? What's up my nigga?!"

"Interviewer: Your CV is a flip book of you setting things on fire. Me: Wrong. If you flip the pages the other way I'm putting the fires out."

"Why do the walking dead survivors try to get to washington D.C.? Because it's their Michonne."

"If life gives you melons... you're probably dyslexic."

"Agnostics have commitment issues."

"There's a lot of pretty woman at spring because during other seasons you appreciate them with your brain."

"One time I actually found a magic lamp with a genie inside but it was back in 2005 so that's why I have three Motorola Razrs."

"Ref: I'm sending you off Player: What for? Ref: The rest of the match!"

"A black man walks into a bar ""Can you imagine that nigga's face when the judge believes my testimony?"" - a policeman told his friend"

"My wife says I don't listen to her. I think that's what she said, anyhow."