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Joke of the Day
"What does it say on Jerry Meyer-Cooper's tomb stone? And who the fuck is that?"
Next Joke
"Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana BATMAN! Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana BATMAN! -Me, sorting through my grandma's mail."
"""if you could be any animal what would you be"" a cat ""why a cat"" [imagines being a complete shithead for literally no reason] naps and stuff"
"Have you guys heard about the scarecrow... Have you guys heard about the scarecrow that got a nobel prize for being outstanding in his field?"
"What is the first thing Trump will do when is the President Build a wall around the White House and make all the visitors pay for it!"
"A cow walked to the store to buy some milk... but cows don't have hands so they can't use grocery stores or grab milk in a container. It was an udder failure."
"Why was the girl in such a bad mood when she got out of jail? She had a period at the end of her sentence."
"It's crazy. One minute you're getting drunk as a skunk, then next thing you know, you're in the back of an ambulance. I really shouldn't be a paramedic."
"If you love someone: 1. Set them free 2. Drunk dial them 3. Read too much into their FB posts 4. Make them feel sorry for you 5. Die alone"
"I could never be a detective. I can't even solve equations, let alone crimes."