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Joke of the Day

"A man asks a woman: ""-Did you know that laughter is second best way to convince a girl to have sex with you ? "" ""-Really, what is the first ?"" ""-A knife."" ""-Hahaha, you're so funny !"" ""-Good choice."""

"You got problems with parenting... You start to get headaches. I follow the instructions on the aspirin bottle: ""Take two and keep away from children."""

"I got a paper cut writing my suicide note It's a start"

"How did Isis move from 5th wanted terrorist group to the most wanted terrorist group? They cut a head"

"Calling Sony comments""racially insensitive remarks"" instead of ""racist""? U can put a cherry on a pile of sh*t but it don't make it a sundae."

"""Yo, somebody filled this calzone with a checkbook and sunglasses!"" -Vin Diesel eating a purse"

"What do you call taking a dump after breakfast? A Brexit"

"Ever have a feeling like you've tasted that mustard before? That's called Dijon Vu."

"I've heard a lot of good puns in my day but.... the one about the kleptomaniac baker really takes the cake."

"I play Jenga on the first date... so she knows my pull out games strong"