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Joke of the Day

"What about ""BusinessMyspace""? Nah, it's taken. Okay, what about ""LinkedIn""?"

"[speaking very loudly to no one trying to impress someone nearby] Man what am I going to do with all these hens"

"Pulling pants up high to conceal a big belly is like a comb-over for the gut."

"What do blondes and computer have in common? You never appreciate them until they go down on you. [Source](http://www.vice.com/kids-telling-dirty-jokes/david-741) edit: computers"

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff Bu dum tss."

"My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am, can you fucking believe that, 2:30am. Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes."

"What did the slut's left leg say to her right leg? Nothing. They've never met."

"I'm addicted to poverty If my bank account has money in it I suffer withdrawal."

"If I had kids I would name them Ctrl, Alt and Delete so when they misbehaved I would just hit them all at once."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy. Jack got a shock, with a mouth full of cock, to find out Jill's real name was Randy."