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Joke of the Day

"My favorite kind of math is adding insult to injury."

"Hey, did you hear about that Coldplay concert in China? It was all yellow."

"[walks into Halloween party with a hot dog taped to my head] ""What are you supposed to be?"" ME: I'm not wearing a costume"

"My circle of trust is a meatball"

"Somebody at work brought donuts this morning and I didn't eat one which is great but I'm still thinking about them"

"What do cow pastures smell like? Dairy air"

"What's the best way to make your wife angry during sex? Call her and tell her where you are."

"What was Beethoven's girlfriend's name? Bae-thoven. I'll^see^myself^out."

"Pizza. It's what separates us from the animals."

"Me: ""I'm looking for a psychic who rates themselves highly."" Ian: ""I'm a medium."" Me: ""I need someone better than that."""