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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I've never paid $100 to have a lentil on my face."

"Is your refrigerator running? Good, then I'm voting for IT for president!"

"How long will a floating point operation float?"

"I broke up with this cross eyed girl... I thought she was seeing someone else."

"I went to the zoo today. The only animal they had was a dog. It was a Shitzu."

"What was Robert E. Lee voted in his High School Yearbook? ""Most likely to Secede"""

"I tried to use the bury a dog above a body trick the graveyard employee didnt let me"

"Me: Jesus. Get the kids inside Wife: What's wron- Me: *running* JUST GET THE DAMN KIDS INSIDE [a bee flies off of the lens of my binoculars]"

"Existing is a pretty remarkable achievement."

"What goes up but doesn't come down? A kangaroo stuck in a tree."