109901

Joke of the Day

"Me: Jesus. Get the kids inside Wife: What's wron- Me: *running* JUST GET THE DAMN KIDS INSIDE [a bee flies off of the lens of my binoculars]"

"I got a computer for my wife today. Best trade I ever made."

"The Mona Lisa was arrested for loitering today But it wasn't her fault, she was framed."

"[Lions watching a romantic comedy about humans] Why doesn't he simply mount her with no apparent warning?"

"So a Jewish pedophile walks up to a kid and says ""Hey want to buy some candy?"""

"Wanna heare a joke about potassium? K"

"Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween? Because so many witches are sweeping the sky."

"Why don't paperclips move around a lot? They like being stationery."

"Dinosaur grandparents probably made racist remarks about mammals as their grandkids listened in horror."

"[preppin for rap battle] *pops retainer out* dont wanna give him any ammunition *takes off suspenders* that should do it *rollerblades away*"