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Joke of the Day
"""You've changed."" ""I know, I'm a Transformer."""
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"The Venn diagram of ""stuff I was supposed to do today"" and ""stuff I did today"" is two separate circles and the second one is a pizza"
"What happened after the word bank was robbed? There was a run on sentences."
"What do cows that are stoners say? 420 graze it"
"I chained up my trophy wife in the basement... She's atrophy wife now."
"If alcohol kills germs and laughter is the best medicine, I'm the healthiest person on the planet."
"A bodybuilder asks a doctor for a pill that will enhance his muscles and increase the size of his penis and tan his skin Here, I'll prescribe you some testostyrone"
"How do you make a drummers car more aerodynamic? You remove the pizza delivery sign! Hahahahaaa..ha"
"Me: They were out of tampons, so I got you a box of bandaids instead. Her:"
"My wife just gave me that come hither look and when I come hithered she pointed to the trash"