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Joke of the Day

"I read the terms and conditions."

"My girlfriend's best friend had her arm stuck in the dirt this morning She asked me how to get her hand out quickly. I told her, ""Dig south for her arm, bae."""

"I hate it when you buy a packet of M&Ms And it's full of W's."

"I have the body of a God... ...unfortunately it's Buddha."

"'You boy !' called a policeman.' Can you help ? We're looking for a man with a huge red nose called Cotters......' 'Really ?' said the boy. 'What're his ears called ?'"

"Grandma complained that no one ever calls, so I put a ""How's My Driving?"" bumper sticker on her car...The phone pretty much rings off the hook now."

"Why didn't the vampire purchase the expensive suit? He just couldn't ever see himself wearing it."

"Wearing sunglasses inside is a great way to let people know that you should be hated unconditionally"

"Why would boxers make good comedians? Because they always have a punchline"

"A Storm Trooper and a Red Shirt get into a fight. Storm Trooper misses every shot. Red Shirt dies anyways."