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Joke of the Day

"Patient: Doctor! Doctor! My mouth tastes like the bottom of a birdcage! Dentist: Yes, I can see there's been a cockatoo in there."

"*guy looks around to see if anyone is looking* *sees the coast is clear, licks tree* And that's how they found out about maple syrup"

"My wife told me she wanted to see a huge diamond for her birthday So I took her to a baseball game"

"Did you hear those loud tennis players last night? They were causing quite the racket."

"They should make custom Starbucks cards that say, ""I wouldn't normally be buying your coffee, but I got this gift card."""

"If Jesus played soccer, what position would he play? Not on the wing, he doesn't do well with crosses."

"Why don't mexicans have barbeques? the beans keep slipping through the grill."

"The moderator needs a spray bottle. Each time someone interrupts, they could just be like: ""NO! BAD PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE! BAD!! *spray*"

"My neighbour hit the post reversing out of the driveway. He hit the poor man delivering it too."

"Tron's full name was Tronald"