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Joke of the Day

"If you want world peace, your army should be made up of massage therapists. I mean, who could fight while getting a relaxing massage?"

Next Joke
 
"Yo, Hillary, I'm really happy for you, and I'ma let you finish... ...but the World Trade Centre had one of the best collapses of all time! One of the best collapses of all time!"
"This guy on the subway has piercings on both sides of his neck. Mary Shelley would be so proud of her modern influence."
"Why did x and y break up? They couldn't function together."
"Look at the clock at the end of a workday and it's 4:04 pm. Where did the time go!?"
"Shout out to old guy behind counter who started coughing really hard, drank some water, recovered, chuckled, and said ""Not today!"""
"So I was catching up with Pacquiao and Mayweather the other day.. Mayweather turns to me and says ""Boxer? I barely know her!"""
"Everybody says waking up at 5 in the morning to exercise makes you feel great but I think lying in bed for another 2 hours feels better."
"Your mama so poor....... She went on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire just to make a phone call."
"Oh, Bill... A reporter asks Bill Clinton, ""How's Hillary's head?"" He answers, ""Well, she's no Monica!"""